TheWayneBlog

HOLY

2008-04-22T23:16:00.000-07:00

A long long time ago, about 4 months back, i started this tiny blog out of boredom. Alas! I found a legion of “ adoring fans” , as quoted from a, well, adoring fan.
Due to my poor time management, I was unable to actually even find time to submit a blog entry. It seems as though the blog was DEAD.
Now, upon my humble laptop and earnest fingers, those that painstakingly typed out the previous few entries, have both been revived, leading to this recent entry. I could have done other thing, but hey! Lets face it. Anything that is done here or there, anywhere actually, can be “ bo liao” and a complete waste of time. Might as well type in one more entry for your…. eyes only( where else? =/ )
Okay movie reviews.
I have actually been watching movies frequently, and not all I might add, are as appealing as they may appear on trailers. I suppose I’m a victim of the advertising conspiracy. Where they feed useless information into your mind making you have this misconception that something crappy actually IS good. Nope, that is not the case. If you feel this way you too have been a victim of advertising scams.
The most recent movie I watched was Funny Games U.S. ( or something like that. I cant remember crappy movie titles)
This film was shown as sadistic and pretty much nothing else on the trailers.
WRONG.
The trailers do not show how bloody BORING the movie actually is.

* Spoiler Alert*
[ If you insist on watching the movie( crappy ) please press the back button, or ban my blog from your porn infested computer. You pervert. ]
* Spoiler Alert*

Anyway, the movie can actually use the same scene for more than 10minutes!
HOLY !@#^&. Yeah censorship is hard on us bloggers too.
Okay, maybe 10minutes was exaggerated. Perhaps it was only a short 9 minutes. Painful scenes( not referring to the characters’ agony but rather my own ) aplenty, this movie offers nothing much except the sadistic nature of 2 guys dressed in white.( no offence to fans but they seem gay to me )
Storyline goes blah blah blah blah.
Then the guys appear and take 4 eggs, another 4 eggs, the dog, the hubby’s knee, followed by yet another 4 eggs ( I can’t understand the fascination with eggs ) , the son, the hubby and lastly, the wife. And they move on to another victim’s house, borrowing guess what? EGGS. man, are they bored or something? Perhaps these teens had an overdose of nightmare on elm’s street. Or Sesame Street. I can’t figure out with one is the scarier one. The gay yellow bird or the guy that kills you.
I can think up of a Singaporean version of this movie.

FUNNY GAMES, SINGAPORE

Scene one

Gay guy one: ( knocks on door )
Uncle can we borrow some eggs?

Uncle tan: ( opens door a crack )
Siao ah? Borrow eggs? you think I open supermaket ah? Nin lau bu.

Gay guy one: ( pleads )
But uncle, we HAVE to have the eggs. it’s for something your neighbour Madam Lee is cooking.

Uncle: ( Looks at the gay guy )
Wah you gay ah? People cook what you care for what? Madam Lee? !@#$%
That time I lend her my qiu cheng until now she never return. 4years liao! Make me buy new one. #$%&*@#$@!( swears violently in hokkien and slams the door in his face )
And the scene goes on.

Singapore uncles rock :)

p.s. i wonder if someone who teaches gp reads this. i wonder how that someone would react. if you think it is you then it is you. don't doubt yourself. i am a magician. i can read your mind. right now you must be thinking that this is so lame. i know. i can read your mind. LOL

Alvin and the chipmunks

2007-12-30T01:39:00.002-08:00

WARNING: IF YOU ARE A CHIPMUNK LOVER OR A FAN OF THE MOVIE “ ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS” CLOSE THIS PAGE AND RETURN TO YOUR FURRY LITTLE LIFE. THIS IS NOT FOR YOU. RUN ALONG NOW. DON’T FORGET YOUR NUTS.

god. I wish I never watched this movie. despite all the hype about it being a wonderful movie with catchy ermm.. "songs", it seems to me like its just a blotch on the face of Disney. yes, kids who have under-exposed experience with music may find those singing balls of fur in fur cute. but hey, let's admit it. those wretched chipmunks must be a part of Disney’s conspiracy to make us delve into the world of voice alteration through machines. I mean, SINGING CHIPMUNKS!!!! Hell, no. This movie just gives me the creeps. Perhaps, Disney feels that those infernal high pitched voices are catchy. Girls may croon over how cute and chubby those lil’ fur balls may look (especially Theodore), but when reality hits, BAM! everyone knows it ain’t gonna make it. True, the movie isn’t without its plusses. The song “witchdoctor” from the movie did sound pretty groovy, but with repeated exposure to those high pitched voices, I doubt anyone could stand their voices. When the movie began, as all hell was about to be unleashed, the opening song, an acappella of Daniel Powter’s hit “ Bad Day”, was actually greeted with CHEERS from the theatre. I mean, huh??? You guys are cheering for singing fur balls? I guess the stress from the Singapore’s blazingly fast economic growth is making our citizens a little less than completely bonkers.
Up till now, I’m guessing you people must be thinking, “ Hey! This guy has something against chipmunks. Let’s get him afterwards.” Err.. Sorry to disappoint you guys, but no. its not only those demented fur balls that sounds as if they are high on drugs. Basically, the storyline SUCKS. I mean, I loved Disney films. I practically grew up watching Aladdin and The Lion King(of which the sequels are nothing to be proud of). Disney has struck me to be wonderfully creative, musically acclaimed, and worldly recognized. The previous Disney movie that I watched, Enchanted, was an example of Disney’s creative mind working. This chipmunk movie is wholly based on a creation dated back from 1958, by Ross Bagdasarian. Based on the show The Alvin Show, the chipmunks were born. Alas! Talk about revival of a dead series. The movie has ZERO storyline, which makes it hardly worth being called a Disney film. Dave got dissed by his producer friend, discovers naked chipmunks, makes a sound track, becomes a hit, chipmunks run away because of some stupid domestic misunderstanding, comes back as they discover that the balding guy isn’t as great as he portray, happy ending. What kind of a storyline is this? It hardly makes an effort to relate to the audience. All that I see form this film is that the Disney producers are thinking:” we are making a movie about singing chipmunks. It’s new. It’s fresh. And it’s gonna make big money. Forget about the storyline. Who needs a storyline when you have an army of 3 rats singing? Kids will buy it like morons.” and sadly, they did.

This movies deserves credit for reviving a dead series, but requires a ****ing lot of work on its storyline.
3/10 stars

I Am Legend

2007-12-30T01:39:00.001-08:00

This is my first film review. Please email me for your advice on how to improve it^^

REVIEW:
I Am Legend is a cross between zombie classics with a sorta homealone feel: except will smith is not home alone but rather, alone in New York City, as it appears to be.
Storyline:
Plot is so-so, more like, boy meets virus, virus kill some, turns rest into night stalking, flesh eating zombies, boy stays behind and tries to stop virus, boy fights for survival, blah blah blah.

With such a normal storyline, what sets it apart from the films this year?

Inner voice,"Hmmm... is it because of its exquisite storyline?"
Me," No you moron. I just said that the storyline is ordinary."
Inner voice," okay... How about the cast? Will Smith does have a good presence on stage."
Me," Perhaps. But lets not forget about the point that he has performed better in other shows. For example, the pursuit of happyness"
Inner voice," Errr... You're getting demanding. Hmmm.. Perhaps its the lack of good movies this year! Most of the movies I've sat through were utterly horrendous."
Me," Ahhh... This sounds reasonable. It's much better than hearing awful chipmunks sing in that voice that goes higher than the average tenor. That was nerve wrecking."

Okay, enough of my self delusional talk.
From this movie however, one can see that much is lost through over emphasizing the loneliness of this " Last Guy On Earth" theme. We want more depth, dudes and gals making this film. But for now, this is one of the better films rounding up the horde of *cough* seemingly retarded films*cough* out there.
Who knows? We can only pray.( or go in strike for better movies. )

p.s. i'm just kidding. DON'T DO IT. YOU'LL GET ME INTO TROUBLE.
MORONS =3

Movie deserves:
7/10 stars

TheWayneBlog, REVAMPED!

2007-12-30T01:39:00.000-08:00

enough said.
a little peek into what i am gonna add into my blog:
-movie reviews
-music reviews(under construction for now)
-life, thoughts and criticisms(yeahup. better watch out you)
-manga/ anime reviews(when i have the time)
-games reviews9 when i have the money)
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the list goes down. well, have a greate time and dun forget to link me :)